16: Raw Materials

17: Lower Math

18: Hibiscus

19: Bursts

16: Raw Materials

17: Lower Math

18: Hibiscus

19: Bursts

In the dim and distant past, circa 1987, there was a breakfast cereal called Crispy Critters. It was basically cereal shaped like animal crackers, and the mascot was a creature named Crispy apparently modeled on Jimmy Durante.*
Tucked away since then in the attic of my parentsโ house were two Special Edition Golden Books featuring Crispy and his animal pals, once included with cereal boxes as a promotional incentive. Their โspecial editionโ status comes from that limited release and from the fact that theyโre paperbacks, not hardcovers like standard Little Golden Books.


No Place Like Home tells the story of Crispy and the animal band making friends with a squirrel child who canโt find his way home after it starts getting dark.
Crispyโs Bedtime Book describes how young Emily canโt sleep because she didnโt pay attention in class that day, so she gets a lesson from her cereal about the letter C.
(Both books were written by Justine Korman, illustrated by Dean Yeagle, and painted by Mike Favata.)

Today a personโs first impulse might be to make fun of these, but reading No Place I liked the names of the animal characters and their choice of instruments. The internet says this cereal originally showed up in the 1960s, and the 1987 version was an attempted revival. I donโt know which era these animal pals first appeared in, but somebody put a bit of thought into them and I appreciate that. (โWaldoโ and โrhinoโ donโt actually rhyme, but oh well.)
On the other hand, in the Bedtime Book you have this page:

In the real world, the camel is found in Africa and Asia. The cactus is found in North America and South America. But probably somebody said, โHey, camels like deserts. Deserts have cactuses. Perfect!โ and never gave it another thought.
Now, itโs not enough that I notice this kind of thing and get annoyed by it; no, I have to come up with an explanation too. My mind insists on making this not a mistake. So: Camille the Camel is from the other side of the world, but now she lives in North America. Unable to travel back to her home deserts, she visits the southwest U.S. to experience the best alternative on hand. So she can be found in cactus-filled deserts, sighing wistfully and thinking of a home sheโs unable to return to. And I feel better for giving a sad and lonely backstory to a cereal-box character I will likely never think of again.
*Iโm not making a joke. Listen to a commercial.
This shot shows Diva licking from a cereal bowl, but you really shouldnโt let a cat do this. An occasional taste might not do much damage, but milk and soymilk arenโt good for cats (despite our cultural fixation on cats’ love of milk).

(There’s also the general truth for all mammals that milk is designed for infants, not adults. Lactose tolerance in adults isn’t actually normal.)
This panel comes from page 31 in Chapter 14 of Not a Cat Lady.
A Drama in Two Scenes
1.
Interior, Olympus
Zeus: Hades! What brings you up here? You usually stay underground!
Hades: Great Zeus, ruler of us all! I want a wife.
Zeus: Well, theyโre an awful lot of trouble, trust me.
Hades: But I know who I wantโno, who I MUST HAVE! Persephone, most beautiful maiden of our kind! But her mother, Demeter, wonโt allow it!
Zeus: Demeter, hmm? Yes, our sister can be so stubborn! But listen, you go right ahead and take Persephone, and just let me handle Demeter! Sheโs only a woman, Iโll set her in her place!
Hades: Thank you, great Zeus! We are truly fortunate to have you as ruler of the cosmos!
End scene.
2.
Interior, Olympus
Zeus: Drat and confound it! What in the world is wrong with the world? Why arenโt there any sacrifices?? I need sacrifices!
Athena: Great Zeus, there are no sacrifices because livestock need grain, and there is no grain because Demeter wonโt let anything grow.
Zeus: Double and triple drat! A perfect hekatomb of drats! That insolent woman! Hermes! Go get her right away! Iโll put a stop to her putting a stop to growing plants!
Exit Hermes.
Enter Hermes.
Hermes: Great Zeus, Demeter says, โGet stuffed.โ
Zeus: Why, thatโ! Iris! You go talk to her! Youโre both women, maybe you can persuade her!
Exit Iris.
Enter Iris.
Iris: Great Zeus, Demeter says, โGo chase a cow.โ
Zeus: Rrrrrrrggghhh!!!
(repeat with other Olympians)
Athena: Father, I think you know what you need to do.
Zeus: Rrrrr!! Fine! Fine! Hermes, go tell Hades he better let Persephone go! Hopefully he can think of some trick so Demeter wonโt make a complete fool of him!
Exit Hermes.
Zeus: Oh, the indignity! The ruler of all that is, chief of living beings, reduced to giving a woman what she wants!
Athena (aside to Hera): Wisdom suggests itโs better if you only sneer quietly right now.
End scene.