Kadmos and Harmonia

Kadmos: I’ll start a city here.

Dragon: RRAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Kadmos: I smite thee, dragon!

Dragon: Ugh! (dies)

Ares: Mortal scum! You killed my sacred dragon! Prepare for some smiting yourself!

Zeus: Now, now, Ares! Don’t kill him. Let him build the city.

Ares (grumbling): Fine, fine. I won’t kill him. Instead he can marry my daughter, Harmonia.

[wedding bells]

Harmonia was the daughter of War (Ares) and Sex (Aphrodite), and her brothers were Fear and Terror, so we just might want to question whether her naming was entirely sincere.

Persephone Speaks

phon-é is not phón-é
So my name does not say “voice,” 
And no one listens to me.

Not my father, Ungreat Zeus, who feels empowered to barter me away
(Both the first time and the second)
He who endorsed the rule that if I ate, I stayed
Perverting the laws of hospitality
And turning them to a curse.
Zeus Xenios, what a lie.

Not Hades, my uncle-husband, who showed me pretty jewels, indeed,
But did not ask if I wanted them enough to stay eternally
Or offer me a choice to come or leave
But imprisoned me from love of my face and shape
Without a thought of what might be my will.

Not my mother, who has never questioned whether I desired to be always at her side
Maiden, decorous, flower-bouquet for her to hold and display
A fragrance for her to delight in
Whatever I might want besides
She was right to protest my capture
But I should like to ask
If she became so angry on my account
	Or on her own.
No use to plant the question, when for me she has no ears.

Then those two brats from Athens
(Or the one was from some other city, it hardly matters which)
Came believing they could steal me from the Underworld
Such fools
And worse believed it did not matter what I wanted or could do
That I either would not or could not stop them
Or have any say in the business of my unending life.
A trinket to be fought for and won by mortal clods:
They actually thought me that.
“Wife,” said Hades, for he must ever grind that in,
“Two human louts have come to abduct you
And are even now roaming the caves in search of this throne-room,
To find you and take you back with them.”
While he described the inventive torments he meant for them to have in place of me,
I thought more and more of what those men must have thought and felt.
And grew a burning rage.
Lava flows beneath the earth as well as rising through volcanoes.
My hands gripped the sides of the onyx throne,
and I looked at my chair here.
Yes, this seemed right.
Let them become what they thought me to be.
I rose and left the throne-room,
To set the trap for those two “heroes.”
A bench prepared, bare stone, but made to look inviting
And there the two mortals, weary from hopeless searching, sat
And forgot everything.
Memory will return if they simply rise,
But there is no reason that they ever should.
They have no thoughts with which to form an intent
No will to carry one out
No voice in which to ask for aid
And none around who would give it.
Let them sit.
Their clothes may rot and fall away, but their bodies will not age or die
And their minds shall forever be empty.
And the longer they remain, the more the stone will cling to flesh
For it should be a part of them
Inseparable
Till no one knows where they diverge
Or can imagine one without the other.

When Hades, uncle-husband, saw what I had done,
His smile grew sour, cheated of the devious torments he had wanted to inflict,
But he said only,
“Ah well! This works too!”
So there the two men sit, empty vases on a shelf
To be looked at and amused by.
While I sit full of other things.

Hades and Persephone

A Drama in Two Scenes

1.
Interior, Olympus

Zeus: Hades! What brings you up here? You usually stay underground!

Hades: Great Zeus, ruler of us all! I want a wife.

Zeus: Well, they’re an awful lot of trouble, trust me.

Hades: But I know who I want—no, who I MUST HAVE! Persephone, most beautiful maiden of our kind! But her mother, Demeter, won’t allow it!

Zeus: Demeter, hmm? Yes, our sister can be so stubborn! But listen, you go right ahead and take Persephone, and just let me handle Demeter! She’s only a woman, I’ll set her in her place!

Hades: Thank you, great Zeus! We are truly fortunate to have you as ruler of the cosmos!

End scene.

2.
Interior, Olympus

Zeus: Drat and confound it! What in the world is wrong with the world? Why aren’t there any sacrifices?? I need sacrifices!

Athena: Great Zeus, there are no sacrifices because livestock need grain, and there is no grain because Demeter won’t let anything grow.

Zeus: Double and triple drat! A perfect hekatomb of drats! That insolent woman! Hermes! Go get her right away! I’ll put a stop to her putting a stop to growing plants!

Exit Hermes.

Enter Hermes.

Hermes: Great Zeus, Demeter says, “Get stuffed.”

Zeus: Why, that—! Iris! You go talk to her! You’re both women, maybe you can persuade her!

Exit Iris.

Enter Iris.

Iris: Great Zeus, Demeter says, “Go chase a cow.”

Zeus: Rrrrrrrggghhh!!!

(repeat with other Olympians)

Athena: Father, I think you know what you need to do.

Zeus: Rrrrr!! Fine! Fine! Hermes, go tell Hades he better let Persephone go! Hopefully he can think of some trick so Demeter won’t make a complete fool of him!

Exit Hermes.

Zeus: Oh, the indignity! The ruler of all that is, chief of living beings, reduced to giving a woman what she wants!

Athena (aside to Hera): Wisdom suggests it’s better if you only sneer quietly right now.

End scene.